I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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