omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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