Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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