covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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