Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
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And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
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Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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