You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize