You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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