I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
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i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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