I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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