dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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