I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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