did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
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and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
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Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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