I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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