would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize