Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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