Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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