so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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