Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
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And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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