some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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