the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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