Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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