You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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