im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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