We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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