I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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