So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
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I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
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Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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