At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize