so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
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