hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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