May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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