And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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