i just had sex bonerless
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize