Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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