Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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