I'm eating all of the evidence.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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