hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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