just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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