I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize