How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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