how can u be prego again
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
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Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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