someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize