i just made my gag reflex go away.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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