I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize