I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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