like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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