I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i've created a new STD.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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