this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize