Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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