my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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