i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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